The Mens Group

Good day men.  Something that has served  me greatly is being a part of a Men's Community, so much that I went on to facilitate Men's Programs for 8 years.  This spiraled out of my involvement with Personal development work, where I facilitated a life changing section of a  program called Enlightened Warrior Training Camp for Peak Potentials, at the time was the second largest personal development company in the world.  We helped thousand's realize their potential and during that time I became involved with Men's Groups, it helped me immensely and  allowed me to see how similar men really are, as many of us share the same or similar issues, from our involvement with a great group of men it helped my life in areas of relationships and helped me define my purpose, it brought me out of my shell and allowed me to find the courage to create my personal development company called Unleash Your Full Potential back in 2007 which is still creating life changing programs.  Since then I went on to create and facilitate Men's programs titled "Way Of The Superior Man".   Not a man who is better then another, but a man whom is better then the old self the outdated edition that just does not work and is striving to bring out his best version of himself.  This is a group where we can share our challenges and be heard and supported in many ways, the groups wisdom is what makes us so powerful and its the members that have been through life's challenges and have some solid wisdom to share, maybe even a good book suggestion.  This is a place where men can let their true self out and say it like it is and by doing so we give one another the ability to say what's going on for them, you'd be supposed to know your not alone, together we are better able to help another. 

Who's got your back?  We can all use some accountability in our lives, we kind of have an idea about what we need to do yet the issue is we are just not doing it.  Why?  Well its because life gets in the way and challenges us to do other things, we are becoming a slave to our environment instead of taking our life and making some thing of it or pursuing our dreams.  

Why a "Men's group"?  There are many possible reasons;

Have you ever felt alone, but have never told no one that you feel all alone, that you have to do it "all by myself".

You don't understand your wife, she doesn't really get you, and you aren't getting anywhere on this.

My wife, nobody, understands me or what I am going through, and I cant talk to them about it.

That "I wish someone would help me on this job, or someone to bounce ideas off"

A men's group can provide:

Community,

Support,

referrals and contacts,

physical help, or just someone to listen to you, to hold you accountable, to have your back and challenge you.

As men we don't like to even think we need support, or any help,  certainly we don't want to express this for fear of appearing weak.

We are driven by our programming to always want to look like we have it all together, to be "strong".  Suck it up and be a man.  Most times we are and sometimes we are not.   

There are times when we just need to vent and spill our guts, things that we need to get out and we cant or probably shouldn't say to our wives, co-workers or bosses, even family.

We all have stuff that needs to be expressed or bounced off an ear that may have been through it before, to listen, offer an opinion and/or some guidance, or just to tell us we are overreacting and full of shit.

As a gathering of just men there is some structure for "support"

Attila Kalo's Men's Group retreat for me helped to shine a light on these areas.  The weekend retreat contained some physical "exercises" which were powerful and memorable, as well as some discussion and readings from a source book. 

-Ian R L

The reason Men are more at risk then women is because of One key element that is communication.  It's too simple to say women are willing to share their problems and men tend to bottle them up.  But its that true, for many generations, many societies have encouraged men to be "strong" and not admit their struggles.

It often starts in childhood.  "We tell the boys, that boys don't cry".  We condition boys from a very young age to not express emotion, because to express emotion is weak. 

Men seek mental health less often, its not that men don't have a lot of the same issues as women, but they're less likely to know they have whatever stress or mental health conditions that are putting them at risk for suicide.  If a person is not aware that they have a condition causing their distress, they are less aware anything could be done to help them.  Only 1/3 of people in mental care take their own life, better odds seeking help from a professional.  Men's Groups can help, but when professional help is needed it should be sought.

Rather then seeking help through established channels, some men may attempt to self medicate.  There is more substance and alcohol use amongst males, which may just reflect the distress they are feeling but we know it compounds 

Suicide occurs all over the world, it affects individuals of all nations, cultures, religions, genders, and classes.  Other innate factors, such as disorders of the mind and abnormalities at birth, can heighten someone's reasons for experiencing depression, weather as the occasional episode or a lifelong ailment.  To lower the rates of death countries and communities need to address the reasons for suicide.  Depression rates are one factor that holds serious importance, but other factors to consider are academic, performance physical conditioning, mental health and well being, economic standing, financial struggles, workplace performance and overall life satisfaction.

Alcohol use, sleep deprivation, stress and poor social relationships can put one at risk also.  Below are some phone numbers if you have any suicidal thoughts. 

YOUR NOT ALONE.

*Canadian Suicide Prevention Helpline 1(833)-456-4566    

"Coming soon" 988 call or text 24/7

* Ottawa and Region Distress Centre 1-888-238-3311 OR Text 343-306-5550